My name is James... I have worked in the adult entertainment industry for the last 7 years of my life under the name Erik Rhodes. I'm not sure how I ended up here, and I don't know how i have survived this long... all i do know is that it can a very lonely place and sometimes i need a blog to get shit off my chest. So take it or leave it... here it is.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
No thanks. I’ll be in Chicago… Lets see if i can hang onto my sobriety…
Sure, i’d love to ruin your life.
I love how you called it “gross and lame” porn. That was a good laugh. Thank you.
Really?
Where are you getting this information?
ohhh… booooo… i thought your were gonna say… “take you in the forest and bury an axe in your head”…
If you fall asleep down by the water baby i’ll carry you all the way home
everybodies gotta love someone but i just wanna love you dear
everybodys gotta feel something i just wanna feel you my dear
i know its hard i know its harrdd i know its hard to be in this position
if they stop loving you i wont stop loving you
if they stop needing you i’ll still need you my dear
If you fall asleep down by the water baby i’ll carry you all the way home
you gotta believe me you gotta believe me you gotta belive me when i say
the words forever
and whatever comes your way we’ll still me here together
i know its hard i know its hard but i understand you just take my hand
dear
If you fall asleep down by the water baby i’ll carry you all the way home
First off, lets avoid calling me “Bro”…Bro.
I understand myself really well and i understand people. I see the underbelly of the world while most the of the world floats in the clouds.
And what it all comes down to is who can bullshit the best… think about it…
I mean seriously, your comment is a complete oxymoron… if i’m not to define myself by outside judgement… then i really shouldn’t listen to anything you say? Right?
Either way, to answer what you’ve said… i think your a liar and and i think anyone who says they don’t sometimes base there actions around the judgements of other people are full of shit.
I think regardless of how strong minded you are, you’ll always hear those people in the back of your head… its how you react that should be your personal concern… if someone insults you and you choose to throw yourself off a bridge, well, then i think you’ve taken it to far, but if somewhere in the mix you learn a life lesson and it somehow betters you… then maybe you should listen…listen and learn…
that will help you grow…
It take a lot more effort to scream at the top of your lungs to a crowd then it takes to whisper the truth to yourself.
(oh shit… i just got all scientifical on your ass, bitch)
Damn i was doing so good… then LA happened and i get swept away… but yes, your goddamn right… i’m back at the gym, sweating that shit out… and i’m almost right back to where i left off… my brain has turned back on and i can speak correctly again… kinda… this time…somewhere along my binge i seemed to have bit off a piece of my tongue, which made it incredibly hard to eat and had me speaking with a slight lisp for the last couple of days… now in retrospect seems kinda funny… but goddamn James… when are you gonna get your shit together?
As for mental heath issues…i’m not sure… of course it doesn’t seem strange when i’m high but the imaginary people and constant Skrillex soundtrack playing in the walls, that i keep dreaming up really has started to scare people…
I remember someone once saying to me while we were extremely high was “you wouldn’t hurt me right” … and thinking…”no, but do i look crazy or something”… i guess i’m starting to look pretty crazy…
