My name is James... I have worked in the adult entertainment industry for the last 7 years of my life under the name Erik Rhodes. I'm not sure how I ended up here, and I don't know how i have survived this long... all i do know is that it can a very lonely place and sometimes i need a blog to get shit off my chest. So take it or leave it... here it is.


whats left to say… we all know this is where i’d end up… how long did you think i could go on playing happy go lucky… i mean, all the pills in the world can’t change the fact that i have lost my passion for almost everything in life and i just don’t care anymore… nothing excites me… i guess flirting with death is the only way to know your alive… i’m not alive… and if i’m dead when this is finally read, well just know i was dead when i wrote this… 

i wish i could have been a better brother, son, friend, lover… i just couldn’t. there was nothing anyone could do to help, so don’t bother wasting a second of your life saying “If only i…”

luhdizfatazz asked
going to fire island this weekend?

No thanks. I’ll be in Chicago… Lets see if i can hang onto my sobriety…

Anonymous asked
James... l'm 16. When l hit 18, would you let me have you as my first? l'm not sure about bottoming... but l would love to top you... :)

Sure, i’d love to ruin your life.

Anonymous asked
You are a twat. All you do is pollute the internet with your narcissism and hatefulness. Go to church. Read self-help books. Get fat and become a lesbian. Go to community college. Stop making so much gross and lame porn. Get a life.

I love how you called it “gross and lame” porn. That was a good laugh. Thank you. 

Anonymous asked
Your apartment rent is approximately $3,500 a month. The cheapest room rate at the OUT is approximately $379 per night. You eat out every night, you take care of two dogs, and dress in designer clothes. I am really in awe of the type of money that you make. Wow, to make so much that you can literally keep a high cost apartment in one place and stay in a lavish hotel a stones throw away makes me wish that I listened to you instead of my guidance counselor. Congrats!


Where are you getting this information? 

Anonymous asked
why are you so gorgeous? when can you come to Victoria, British Columbia? I would take you into the forest and maybe just look at you ...

ohhh… booooo… i thought your were gonna say… “take you in the forest and bury an axe in your head”…

Played 39,721 times

If you fall asleep down by the water baby i’ll carry you all the way home 

everybodies gotta love someone but i just wanna love you dear
everybodys gotta feel something i just wanna feel you my dear 
i know its hard i know its harrdd i know its hard to be in this position 
if they stop loving you i wont stop loving you
if they stop needing you i’ll still need you my dear
If you fall asleep down by the water baby i’ll carry you all the way home 

you gotta believe me you gotta believe me you gotta belive me when i say 
the words forever
and whatever comes your way we’ll still me here together
i know its hard i know its hard but i understand you just take my hand 
If you fall asleep down by the water baby i’ll carry you all the way home